May 2013
darrynek:
why does it seem like every dad sneezes really loud
fumblrtabulous:
THE PRESIDENT OF FRANCE WANTS TO BAN HOMEWORK
well this is it
bonjour my petite crossaints
bondoge:
why do i still have to go to school i thought slavery was abolished in 1865
tempoes:
everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold
10000bc:
fuck i hate when children cry like why cant you just internalize your emotions like the rest of us
sfux:
i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
powerpoint more like powerwhatsthepoint
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
maybe the sun doesn’t want to be called “hot”. maybe it wants to be called “beautiful”. think before you speak
lindsaychrist:
ive been fired from taco bell 4 separate times but i keep just showing up for work and they forget
brvdleysoileau:
how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl
rocketpowers:
there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone
just let that sink in
magnezone:
draw things on my back with your finger so i can fall asleep/ in love with you
ostolero:
smartblonde317:
ostolero:
becoming an adult is weird
it’s like
wow i can drive a car and set my own schedule
wow i can go online and buy 50 dragon dildos
wait what?
did i stutter
nialling911:
maybe zayn just has really poor vision and we think hes doing a sexy smolder but really hes just like damn everythings so fuzzy i cant see shit
arpakasso:
bondoge:
swag youre it
no snapbacks
squareclocks:
kushroom:
so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal
Slam me in my tender butthole
I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase.
haithinkimfunny:
queenestelle:
gothist:
GET IGNORED SO MUCH BITCHES CALL ME TERMS AND CONDITIONS
at least you get accepted no matter what
that’s the most uplifting thing i’ve seen all day
supermassiveasshole:
when i was like 12 i used to hate one really bitchy and annoying girl from our class so i sent her a text “you will die in 7 days” during a class and she burst into tears and her mum went to police and i was so scared so i flushed my phone down the toilet
